Our family always looks forward to putting our Christmas tree up together. This year Jordan decided to do a few short videos to preserve the progress.
All posts tagged Parenting
Family Fun
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on November 30, 2015
https://clegguart.com/2015/11/30/family-fun/
“Frozen” Cereal?
Oh wow, I just heard my dad’s voice, quoting my mother, coming out of my own mouth. Nooooo! It cannot be. (*hanging my head and sighing audibly.)
So I went by the store on my way home the other day. I was on a simple mission: go in, get a few items (on my list), get out, go home. As I passed the end-cap of the aisle those mean grocery people had placed a gimmick-cereal there in order to grab the attention of little girls and soft-hearted fathers of little girls; Frozen.
Just to make sure the big softy could not refuse, the cereal was basically just a dumbed down version of Lucky Charms. It only had two kinds of marshmallows “snow and ice crystals.” I know…boring colors, right?
Oh yeah, and because Kellogg knows that dads have a hard time denying their daughters happiness, the box is smaller but costs just the same. Thanks a lot Anna, Elsa, Olaf, Kristoff and Sven. In my defense it does say, in all capital letters, right across the top of the box “Collector’s Edition”.
So now we’re sitting at the breakfast table with little people eating their Frozen cereal. They are smiling, fully absorbed in the cartoon images on the box, and bouncing ever so slightly in their seats. Then it happened.
“Stop eating the marshmallows with your fingers … you are going to eat all of your cereal, not just the colors.” Aaaaaaahh! My dad’s voice, my mom’s words, and my own mouth. The only consolation is that I did not employ the “there are starving children in Africa” line.
Upon recovering from this echo from my childhood, three things quickly cross my mind:
- It is not the end of the world if the kids only eat the marshmallows.
- I am so thankful for my mom and dad (especially their patience).
- As a father I am always influencing my children, always.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger (bad influence), but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (good influence).” Ephesians 6:4
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on February 5, 2015
https://clegguart.com/2015/02/05/frozen-cereal/
By the way, you’re not Jesus.
Remember that time when your child (spouse or friend), sinned against you and you went to them with eloquent, pointed, correcting words, and they immediately saw their error, dropped to their knees, and apologized with repentant tears?
Wait! That’s never happened to you either? I have to correct my children for the same thing over and over and over. Why don’t they get what I’m saying? Maybe I need to say it differently, with more force, with more gentleness, with more scripture, with less scripture. I just need to figure out the right combination of words, then they’ll get it. Right?
OK, so, you may want to sit down at this point. What I’m about to say may be hard to hear: We cannot change people.
One author put it like this: “Somewhere along the way, those of us gifted with words will receive a painful reminder that it is Jesus and not our explanations that can change a heart. Words aren’t strings. People aren’t puppets. Eloquent speech isn’t magic.”
Only Jesus can change a person’s heart. We may have all the appropriate biblical ammunition, carefully crafted arguments, and even have righteousness on our side, but none of these things can change a person.
As a dad I can raise my voice, or slow down my words (as if I’m speaking to a foreigner), but none of these things will change my children. My words don’t have the power to change their hearts. Only Jesus can do that.
When tension rises in a relationship, we’re immediately confronted with the fact that we are not Jesus. We cannot cause people to be convicted of their sins, no matter how eloquently or forcefully we speak. Only Jesus can convict a person of their sins. Only Jesus can change a person’s heart.
We need to spend more time asking Him to work. Yes, I mean praying. He must change our children. He must work in our spouse. He must soften our friend. Trying to do the work of Jesus in the heart of others is both exhausting and frustrating. I know, I’ve tried many times and failed every time. We need to (must) let Jesus do his work in his time.
[See: Ezekiel 36:26-27; John 14:10; 15:5]
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on September 29, 2014
https://clegguart.com/2014/09/29/by-the-way-youre-not-jesus/
Day of Discovery
We have really been looking forward to this day! After lengthy discussions (more like debates), emotional pleas (that sound like “I really want what I want”), and child-like logic (it has to be this way because I want it to be this way) we arrived at the doctors office for the ultra-sound. The boys wanted another brother. Hannah and Lydia wanted a little sister. Grace wants, well, a baby. And Caleb just wants his space on mommy’s lap, back.
To be honest the week leading up to our day of discovery was a little nerve racking. I had to take my sweet wife to the doctor’s office twice for unscheduled visits. It doesn’t really matter how small the matter, when you’re expecting and things are not right, they are just not right. Thankfully everything was fine and all is well.
Well, the day arrived. Drum roll please . . . . . We are having a baby boy! Well, that’s what the doctor said when he looked at the black-n-white kaleidoscope-looking mini-screen that displays shapes, bones, organs, and gender specific anatomy.
Oh wait, I can see a tiny little face!
Incredible.
The drive home was very interesting. We talked about how the other children would respond to the news. Joy-unleashed would be a good way to describe the atmosphere. That is, after explaining that there were no winners or losers in the “what do you think the baby is” game.
Somewhere along the road my delight intersected with my reality. I have another son to love, train, equip, and launch into manhood. Wow.
Something I read recently came to mind: “The family is supposed to be a training ground in loving authority. It is a ‘ramping-up’ place that God has given us to learn love, respect, honor, obedience, and trust, in order to prepare us for relating to others and ultimately to God Himself.”
Again, wow. I love being a dad! Please Lord, help me to be a good dad.
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on August 28, 2014
https://clegguart.com/2014/08/28/day-of-discovery/
Children are a heritage from the Lord.
[Not sure why this did not post a couple weeks ago … oh well … here it is!]
God has greatly blessed us with SEVEN wonderful, interesting, gifted and curious children. Each one of them is a joy and each one of them is an adventure.
We take great delight in God’s blessings to us – even when His blessings come in the form of a very unexpected surprise …
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them…” Psalm 127:3:5a
“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.” Psalm 128:3-4
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on July 20, 2014
https://clegguart.com/2014/07/20/children-are-a-heritage-from-the-lord/
The Blessings Of A Big Family
A poem by, Jennifer L. Sylvester
“The blessings of a big family
are only seen by a few
A few of the chosen ones
that God has given this blessing too
The blessings are so numerous
it’s hard to even start
to number or to name them but
they all hold a place in the heart
The heart of every person in a
big family is unique
it’s uniqueness makes us special
and should not be critiqued
The memories that are made
are more precious than gold
from babies to weddings
from young and to old
From grandparents to grandchildren
and everyone in between
the many special relationships that are built
and could have never been foreseen
Thank you God
for my big family I will treasure
through the good times and bad
the memories could not be measured
Thank you God
for birthdays, simple get-togethers and even the tears
for I pray that these blessings
last many, many more years
To have a big family
can be a lot of work, not just play
but life is too short
so I THANK GOD FOR MY BIG FAMILY TODAY!”
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on May 21, 2014
https://clegguart.com/2014/05/21/the-blessings-of-a-big-family/
IFCA Cultivate 2014
So pleased with Nathan & Jordan’s MTA at last weeks IFCA Cultivate! Great job guys!
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on April 10, 2014
https://clegguart.com/2014/04/10/ifca-cultivate-2014/
Blessed & Challenged
When Jenny and I were first married we had all kinds of ideas, goals, and plans. After twenty years I am so glad that God is in control and not us! Among our various conversations during the first few years was something like this: “So. When we are ready to have children, how many do you think we should have?” And the response, “Oh, I don’t know…definitely three, maybe four.” (As though it were entirely up to us rather than God; see Psalm 127:3 & 139:13-14.)
Thinking back I can’t help but cringe at our brazen audacity (that’s a nice way of saying self-centered, self-serving, thinking). At the same time, it is equally wonderful to think back and recognize God’s patience with us and amazing grace extended to us!
Today? Well, today we have the joy of seeing God’s manifest blessings in our home. Each one is totally unique and individually an absolute treasure. Nathan is a poet. Jordan is an athlete. Hannah is a voracious reader. Josiah is a hard-working cowboy. Lydia is gentle and sweet and tender and sometimes not gentle. Grace is an aspiring princess. And Caleb is beginning to reveal a very complex (and fun) personality.
To top it all off, God has blessed me with a beautiful, wonderful, long-suffering, spirit-filled, Christ-exalting, God-honoring wife whom I adore, favor, and love passionately! Oh wait…I was talking about the kids.
Anyway. I wanted to share a couple quotes that really blessed and really challenged me today:
“In the family, life is brought not only to our doorstep, but into our kitchens, bedrooms, and dens. In the family, life is happening all around us, and it begs to be questioned, evaluated, interpreted, and discussed. There is no more consistent, pregnant, dynamic forum for instruction about life than the family, because that is exactly what God designed the family to be, a learning community.” ~ Paul David Tripp
“An ideal Christian home ought to be a place where love rules. It ought to be beautiful, bright, joyous, full of tenderness and affection, a place in which all are growing happier and holier each day. There should never be any discord, any wrangling, any angry words or bitter feelings. The home-life should be a harmonious song without one marring note, day after day. The home, no matter how humble it is, how plain, how small – should be the dearest spot on the earth to each member of the family. It should be made so happy a place, and so full of life, that no matter where one may wander in after years, in any of the ends of the earth – his home should still hold its invisible cords of influence about him, and should ever draw resistless upon his heart. It ought to be the one spot in all the earth, to which he would turn first, when in trouble or in danger. It should be his refuge, in every trial and grief.” ~ J.R. Miller (1882)
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on November 7, 2013
https://clegguart.com/2013/11/07/blessed-challenged/
Hairbrush Hero
The Crisis: I was sitting quietly at my computer enjoying a cup of coffee and contemplating the deep things of God when Lydia approached me with sadness and fear. “Daddy,” she said, “Have you seen my little pink hairbrush?” Do you have any idea how much hair-brushing is required in a house that contains four females? Wow.
Initial response: I admit it. I was not very gallant in my response to the hairbrush crisis. In fact I was rather brutish. “Sweetheart,” I said, “Daddy doesn’t use your brush and daddy did not have your hairbrush. Now you go find it like mommy said.”
The interruption: Grace tapping my arm, waiting, tapping, waiting, “daddy,” waiting, tapping. Lydia walks away head down, disheartened, and unable to solve the mystery of the missing hairbrush. I finally looked at Grace and said, “Yes Grace. What is it?” “Umm. Daddy,” she says, tilting her sweet little face to one side. “Yes Grace. I’m busy. What do you need?” Grace, “Umm. Do I look pretty daddy?” Sigh. “Yes sweetie. You look pretty.”
The Hunt for Red October: OK, so I didn’t really organize the entire Russian fleet of nuclear submarines to find the hairbrush. Actually, I didn’t even get up from my coffee and computer. About an hour later I happen to be walking down the hall and saw the little brush underneath a chair against the wall. I have to be honest, I walked on by shaking my head and leaving it lay.
An opportunity lost, recovered: Another thirty minutes past and I overheard the troubled voice of little Lydia trying to explain that the little pink hairbrush was gone. Jenny, being much more considerate than I had been, responded with encouragement and counsel. In that moment I remembered seeing the hairbrush!
The moment: I leapt from my seat (not really), swept little Lydia into my arms (yes I did), whisked her to the top of the stairs like a knight in shining armor (in my head), crawled on my hands and knees under the chair, recovered the brush, and on one knee held forth the little pink brush to my now elated little girl. Hero.
You don’t have to defeat all of the host of Mordor in order to be a blessing to your family. You don’t have to be a Jedi Knight to be a hero to your wife and kids. You just need to give them your time, attention, and affection. You know, act like you like them.
Points to ponder: Psalm 127:3; Deuteronomy 6:7-9; Ephesians 5:25; 1 Peter 3:7
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on July 22, 2013
https://clegguart.com/2013/07/22/hairbrush-hero/
“They’re Birds!”
The month of August is a great time to head out into the timber and check your Deer stand, shooting lanes, and game trails. On one particularly warm day my oldest son Nathan, youngest son Josiah, and myself decided we needed to head to grandpa’s farm in order to do just that! On the way there Josiah asked four or five times “Daddy, can we stop by grandpa’s apple tree?” I guess you can’t check your stand without a few apples to munch along the way.
As we made our way across the field I was in teaching mode. I wanted the boys to notice everything; the direction of the wind, the sounds we could hear, any trails, and any wildlife we could spot on the way in. As we made our way down the hill and across a little hay-field Nathan said, “Dad. Look at all those geese!” I looked up at the sky just in time to see what Nathan was now pointing at. I said, “Wow, there sure are a lot of ‘em up there. But I don’t think they’re geese.” Nathan asked, “What are they?” and I responded, “I don’t know.” At this point Josiah who was working his way through his third apple and had not even raised his head to look up at the sky said, “They’re birds.”
Sometimes the simplicity and complexity of children is just the right dose of reality! Thinking about that day still brings a smile to my face. We knew they were not geese and thanks to Josiah we knew for certain that they were absolutely birds. What a joy and great blessing our children really are to us!
In a study conducted several years ago, sociologists Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck of Harvard University tried to identify the crucial factors in Juvenile Delinquency. They developed a test by which they could predict the future delinquency of children five or six-years-old. Their follow-up tests, four years later, proved to be ninety percent accurate. They determined that the four necessary factors to prevent delinquency are:
- The Father’s Discipline: Discipline must be firm, fair, and consistent.
- The Mother’s Supervision: A mother must know where her children are and what they’re doing at all times, and be with them as much as possible.
- The Father and Mother’s Affection: Children need to see love demonstrated between the father and mother, and have it physically demonstrated to them.
- The Family’s Cohesiveness: The family must spend time together.
Deuteronomy 6:7-9 “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Notice that this practice is an imperative: YOU SHALL TEACH THEM. Second, the process is simple: TALK. Not preach, scold, cajole, pound it into them, or dump on them. This is to be a natural a part of our daily life, natural and unforced, it is to just flow into every part of life. The key to this is really whether or not you can see God in every part of life. If you do, so will your children. If God stays at church or when you prepare a lecture, they will compartmentalize Him right out of their social life, private life, sports life, dressing life, recreation life and every other part of their lives. As one great old saint said, ‘There’s no difference between the sacred in the secular’. That’s basically what Moses is saying: Just let God flow into all of life.
Are you praying for your children? Are you teaching them the Word of God? Do you pray with your children? Do you model good choices? How much time and attention do you give to your children?
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” 3 John 1:4
Clegguart Mitchell
Posted by Pastor Clegguart Mitchell on August 28, 2012
https://clegguart.com/2012/08/28/theyre-birds/
Family, Fun, & Food for thought... 