Still My Favorite Love Story

Thirty-three years ago today, a young man and a young woman stood before God, surrounded by family and friends, and promised one another a lifetime.

Like every young couple, we had plans. We had dreams. We wondered where life would take us.

We talked about children – possibly two or three… maybe four if we were feeling especially adventurous.

We smiled at the future because we imagined we knew what it might look like. We didn’t. Not even close.

We had no idea that God would entrust us with eight wonderful children. We had no idea that one day our home would be filled with laughter, music, muddy shoes, backpacks, late-night conversations, birthday parties, grandchildren, and more memories than either of us could ever count.

We had no idea how many miles we would travel together. How many churches we would serve. How many prayers we would pray. How many tears we would quietly wipe away.

How many times we would find ourselves standing in hospital rooms, sitting beside grieving families, rejoicing at weddings, celebrating new life, or simply holding one another after another long day.

Looking back now, I realize something. We spent a lot of time making plans. God spent all along writing a far better story.

One of His greatest gifts to me was Jenny.

Most people know her as sweet – and they are absolutely right. She is. But they don’t always get to see the whole picture.

They don’t know how quick she is with a comeback. How delightfully sharp her sense of humor can be. Or that every now and then she can say something so unexpectedly funny that I find myself laughing long after everyone else has moved on.

They don’t always know that after thirty-three years she still has the remarkable ability to roll her eyes at one of my jokes with perfect timing. (It is still my opinion that the audience is occasionally the problem.)

I still love her beautiful red hair.

I still love her smile.

I still love the sparkle in her eyes.

And yes… after all these years, we still enjoy “sporting” together.

Some things simply get better with time.

But if all I said were those things, I would miss what I admire most. I have watched Jenny quietly pour herself into people for decades.

She loves children – not because she has to, but because she genuinely delights in them. She notices widows. She encourages women. She serves our church without seeking attention. She sings God’s praises with sincerity. She opens her Bible faithfully. Again and again, I have watched her choose faithfulness in all the ordinary places where character is truly formed.

The world often celebrates the loud and the impressive. God delights in the faithful.

That is the woman I married.

There is one more thing I want to say – something that perhaps very few people know.

There have been seasons when I have felt weary. Moments when leadership felt heavy. Days when I questioned myself more than I questioned anyone else. And in those moments, God has often strengthened me through Jenny.

Her confidence in me has steadied me. Her affection has comforted me. Her prayers have upheld me. Her quiet faith has reminded me to trust the Lord again. She probably doesn’t even realize how many times God has used her to help me stand when I felt weak.

For that, I will always be grateful.

When I married Jenny, I thought I was choosing the woman who would make my life happier. Thirty-three years later, I realize God was giving me the woman who would help make me more like Christ. That is a far greater gift.

Jenny… Thank you for believing in a young man who had more enthusiasm than wisdom.

Thank you for walking beside me through every season God has ordained. Thank you for laughing with me. Praying with me. Forgiving me. Encouraging me. Serving with me. Growing with me.

Most of all, thank you for loving Christ more than you have ever loved me. That has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

If someone were to ask me whether I would do it all again – knowing every joy, every hardship, every surprise, every blessing, and every sorrow these thirty-three years would hold…

My answer would be immediate. Without hesitation. Without reservation. Without changing a single thing that brought me to this moment beside you.

I would still choose you.

Thirty-three years ago, I thought I was inviting you to share my life. Looking back, I realize God was inviting both of us into a story that neither of us could have imagined. And what a beautiful story it has been.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Thank you for thirty-three wonderful years.

By God’s grace, I look forward to whatever chapters He is pleased to write next.

Happy Birthday, Jenny [July 8]

Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife, Jenny!
I have been studying this woman for a very long time now, and after nearly 33 years of marriage, I have reached a few fairly definitive conclusions.
First, I love red hair. I mean, I probably love red hair because I love her red hair … but at this point, I’m not sure the two can be separated. She is, after all, my standard for beauty.

I love her smile. I love her affection. I love her wisdom and her wit. Everyone thinks Jenny is so sweet – and she is. She really is. But I also know the Jenny who can be quick with a comeback, sharp with her teasing, and who can, on occasion, come up with something so unexpectedly salty and silly that I’m left wondering, “Where in the world did THAT come from?” 😂

She makes me laugh. Sometimes she laughs at my jokes. Sometimes she just rolls her eyes. Which I have learned to accept: the problem in those moments is obviously with the audience. Honestly, I love that after all these years, we still laugh together. We still flirt with each other. We still enjoy “sporting,” as the Bible calls it. 😏

But there is so much more to this woman I love. I watch her pour herself out for others every day.
She loves children – all children.
She cares deeply about the women in our church.
She notices the widows and loves on them.
She serves. She sings. She gives. She cares.
And before so many others ever receive anything from her, she faithfully spends time with the Lord. I see that too. I see the woman everyone else sees – the beautiful, sweet, caring Jenny.

But I also get to see more. I get to see:
The funny Jenny.
The affectionate Jenny.
The feisty Jenny.
The tired Jenny.
The praying Jenny.
The woman who has poured out so much of herself for so many people for so many years.

And I get to experience something that perhaps no one else fully sees: This woman makes me stronger.
There are times when I feel weak, uncertain, or lacking godly confidence – and somehow her love, her affection, her presence, her respect & care toward me – help me stand firm and stand tall. I don’t know if she even knows how often she does that. So on her birthday, I don’t merely want to thank her for everything she does. I want to celebrate her.

Jenny, I still notice you.
I still admire you.
I still enjoy you.
I still want to be near you.
Your red hair still catches my eye.
Your smile still feels like home.
Your affection still means more to me than I can say.
And after all these years, I am still crazy about you.
Happy Birthday to my beautiful, funny, sweet, occasionally salty, eye-rolling, redheaded wife.
You are my delight and my treasure – my “So Much.”
And yes, my love… I am still very interested in “sporting” with you, and I don’t care who else notices or sees. ❤️😂
Happy Birthday, Jenny.
I love you.
X♥️X♥️

The Model of Biblical Masculinity

In a culture confused about manhood, we do not need new definitions.

We need to look at Jesus.

He initiated our salvation at the cost of His life.

He led by serving.

He provides for His people.

He protects His church – even to the point of death.

Biblical masculinity is not aggression.

It is not passivity.

It is not selfish ambition.

It is sacrificial leadership, humble service, faithful provision, and courageous protection.

In other words, biblical masculinity looks like Jesus.

The deeper a man’s relationship with Christ, the more he becomes the man God created him to be.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5.25

Happy 21 Years!

photoMarriage is not about feelings (though feelings are a wonderful byproduct).
Marriage is not about “compatibility” (it’s about commitment & covenant).
Marriage is not about sexual intimacy (though marriage is where it is sweet and secure).

Marriage is about delighting in God’s Word.
Marriage is about exalting salvation through Christ alone.
Marriage is about honoring God (who designed the institution & defines the parameters).

Marriage is sacred.

Genesis 2:18, 21-24 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Ephesians 5:31-33 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

HAPPY 21 YEARS to my sweet wife … my delight … my joy … my best friend …

Jenny,
I honor you.
I adore you.
I praise God for you.
I LOVE YOU!

With all my heart,

Clegguart

Go hug your wife.

How-To-Love-Your-WifeGentlemen: Your responsibility in your marriage is not contingent upon how well your wife fulfills hers.

Joy is loving and serving and delighting in your best friend – for the glory of God alone.

Go hug your wife.

“Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking in your head. Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 9:8-9

Blessed & Challenged

931210_617913124887606_615344544_nWhen Jenny and I were first married we had all kinds of ideas, goals, and plans. After twenty years I am so glad that God is in control and not us! Among our various conversations during the first few years was something like this: “So. When we are ready to have children, how many do you think we should have?” And the response, “Oh, I don’t know…definitely three, maybe four.” (As though it were entirely up to us rather than God; see Psalm 127:3 & 139:13-14.)

Thinking back I can’t help but cringe at our brazen audacity (that’s a nice way of saying self-centered, self-serving, thinking). At the same time, it is equally wonderful to think back and recognize God’s patience with us and amazing grace extended to us!

Today? Well, today we have the joy of seeing God’s manifest blessings in our home. Each one is totally unique and individually an absolute treasure. Nathan is a poet. Jordan is an athlete. Hannah is a voracious reader. Josiah is a hard-working cowboy. Lydia is gentle and sweet and tender and sometimes not gentle. Grace is an aspiring princess. And Caleb is beginning to reveal a very complex (and fun) personality.

To top it all off, God has blessed me with a beautiful, wonderful, long-suffering, spirit-filled, Christ-exalting, God-honoring wife whom I adore, favor, and love passionately! Oh wait…I was talking about the kids.

Anyway. I wanted to share a couple quotes that really blessed and really challenged me today:

“In the family, life is brought not only to our doorstep, but into our kitchens, bedrooms, and dens. In the family, life is happening all around us, and it begs to be questioned, evaluated, interpreted, and discussed. There is no more consistent, pregnant, dynamic forum for instruction about life than the family, because that is exactly what God designed the family to be, a learning community.” ~ Paul David Tripp

“An ideal Christian home ought to be a place where love rules. It ought to be beautiful, bright, joyous, full of tenderness and affection, a place in which all are growing happier and holier each day. There should never be any discord, any wrangling, any angry words or bitter feelings. The home-life should be a harmonious song without one marring note, day after day. The home, no matter how humble it is, how plain, how small – should be the dearest spot on the earth to each member of the family. It should be made so happy a place, and so full of life, that no matter where one may wander in after years, in any of the ends of the earth – his home should still hold its invisible cords of influence about him, and should ever draw resistless upon his heart. It ought to be the one spot in all the earth, to which he would turn first, when in trouble or in danger. It should be his refuge, in every trial and grief.” ~ J.R. Miller (1882)

Not Always Easy

I love my wife and I am not ashamed to say it!  She is my best friend and I am her best friend.  We will be happily married for nineteen years this August and I can honestly say that we have grown closer to one another with each passing year.  She is my sunshine, my delight, and my treasure.  My name is Clegguart Mitchell and I approve this message.

God has been so kind to bless us with six children; and a new baby due in December!  The children range from almost three up to fourteen years.  We love to go golfing, fishing, hunting, and playing all sorts of games together.  Yes, each child is different and has his or her own personality, preferences, and problems.  But I can honestly say, I love every one of them in their own personal uniqueness and I would not trade any one of them for anything in the world!

As a husband I have no problem loving and honoring my wife.  As a dad my chest puffs up with the best of them when thinking and speaking of my children.  As a man accountable to God for leading in my home and shepherding my family, well, life is not always easy.  I am so thankful that God’s Word spells out so simply and so clearly what God’s design and desire are for me!  Now, you may be single, a single parent, childless, or even a grandparent. God has written down His design and desire for you no matter where you are in life!

Parenting is not always easy.  A young pastor fresh out of Seminary and newly married preached a sermon that he called “The Ten Commandments of Child Rearing.”  A couple years and one child later he changed the title to “Five Biblical Principles for Parenting”.  A few years and another child later he re-titled again to “Three Suggestions for Parents”.  As you may have guessed after ten years and three children he was no longer in the ministry, he was selling used cars.

Sometimes raising children is just hard.  In one bookstore I counted over sixty titles on “Family” and most of them did not agree!  Mark Twain had an interesting idea about parenting.  When you are faced with one of those hard moments consider what Mr. Twain said.  His philosophy was: “When a kid turns thirteen, stick him in a barrel, nail the lid on top and feed him through the knothole.  When he turns 16, plug up the hole!”

It is almost Father’s Day.  Did you know that God actually spells out the stages of personal growth for us Dad’s?  In Psalm 127:1-2 we need a godly foundation; v3-5 we need to trust God for blessed fruitfulness; Ps 128:1-4 we can enjoy a happy family life; and v5-6 we get to reap the joys of a satisfying family when we get older.  God really does have a plan, and friend, He wants to help you!  Read His Word, the Holy Bible, and you will be amazed by all that you discover!

 

Clegguart Mitchell